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name: Syed
age: 20
location: sg
school: Rp
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Friday, June 30, 2006

Something to ponder about,

at 5 am in the morning, just got ready for bed after a super tiring day at work, coz the break the interval was 90 fucking mins man. 90 + 15 + 15 mins.. ahh but all is well, have always loved playing at timbre anyway..

Was thinking about something while i was seated away from the world cup frenzy that was germany and argentina..

how can you not dread death, when you love living so much? the littel things that make you happy, watching soccer with your friends. jamming, going clubing getting imensely drunk and waking up in a hotel room with notes spelling out the words "last night was great" smoking sheesha, reading your book, getting online, going to school.. what ever, makes you feel alive..

you dread death because you have no idea whats on the other side, you dread death because things like soccer or music or love or lust might not exist.. you dread death ultimately because you feel scared... yes, there are some people who embrace death as a part of life, the final chapter the closing scene.. the finale what ever lah.. the select few lah that is..

and we all already know how fragile life is, you can be alive today, dead tommorow.. nobody knows.. im just rambling, its just that when i was looking at those people hugging each other screaming for shear joy when either one team scored a goal, i just wondered, why do i not share this joy? because i didnt bet money on the game? yeah mabye, but is everything really about money, what about passion. i mean like real passion, without perks without anything just pure passion.. for that matter, brief happiness is all i have ever tasted, and that is being truthful and honest.. happiness is intense then it dies out as fast as it builds up.. do i even love life? i mean really, i know im not ready to die not because i havent lived life enough but because i know ive sined alot, and i havent really repented yet.. im scared because i believe theres a heaven and hell, and ive currently got a one way ticket to the land down under..

What am i missing out on that so many people are realishing... that feeling, is indiscrabeable.. i know it is.. coz ive felt it, but for brief moments and i forget them once they are gone..

left a mark at 1:55 PM

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Today people, i start a new chapter in my life.. today, i shall right the wrongs.. i thank those who have stuck by my side, and i thank them for not only thier understanding, but thier friendship.. the balance between both worlds never was supposed to be smooth, but they have made my stay more than enjoyable.. but most importantly, thank you for believing in me..

I just realised, there are a shit load of prinicipals to design, as a designer for fucks sake you never think of these things.. but after that you realise that there are actually rules that youve been following even without knowing that they exist..

then more often then not comes what id like to call "cerebral overload".. Now that your aware that these rules exists, you start limiting your selves to the constraints of those rules and hence your designs are not as appealing and not as pleasnt to your eye..

But what you fail to realise is, no1, youve been following those rules all the while and it looked good to you then..
no2.. your designs after gainning knowladge of the rules now suck in your opinion...
no3.. even though your old designs subconciously followed rules, you still think they rock as compared to your new creations..

Now what does this say my compadres? that humans in general retaliate, humans in general are so fucked, because they only struggle when they realise that theve been placed in captivity, what they dont realise is they have been placed in captivity for the longest time.. its just that they finally opened thier eyes...

wake up the next day, greet your neighbour, walk out, take the bus/train, go to work, go to school go to where ever the fuck your going too.. make your self feel good, spend your money, hang out with your friends.. coz you know what boys and girls..

all of us are fucked..

we truely are..

left a mark at 10:42 AM

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

God save us now.. id like to see you try...

left a mark at 8:55 PM

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Mattoria.com
An idea conceptualized over many murtabaks and teh tariks and more often than not in the presence of good company.

Mattoria.com; A concept now brought to life by two semi great minds, both 20 years of age, who came together in late 2005. By some odd stroke of luck despite their many disagreements on world issues/politics/corporal punishment/life and which restaurants to go to; they somehow manage to agree on Mattoria.com - a local designer brand that offers fresh design perspectives (mainly to companies closely related to the local music industry), promising not only professional quality but also competitive rates.



The people behind the LCD screens:

Specialty: Design
Name: Lin
Age: 20
Heritage: Chinese/Malay. Somewhere in between.
Horrorscope: Cancer
(Mixed heritage + Cancerian = You cant get any more confused than that baby!)


Specialty: Marketing
Name: Syed
Age: 20
Heritage: Arab
Horrorscope: Aries.
(Arab + Aries = Now class, can we spell Sadam Hussein?)

The company, currently in its incubation stage, needs you, our dear beloved friends to lend us your generous support by purchasing a tee -shirt
for the Mattoria fund-raiser project. If you like what you see, support our cause and buy a teeshirt! We assure you that your contributions will go a long way in aiding the birth of the company. =) email mattoria.syed (at) gmail.com for details..

left a mark at 9:57 AM

Friday, March 24, 2006

the brain is tired, stayed up the whole night playing games with brandon.. reached home at about 8 am.. and now i cant sleep..

i have to say my thoughts flow more fluently during these times.. i cant explain why, mabye fatigue causes the brain to cross out reason.. mabye at times like this i can actually put into words what i really want to say without having to think about it so much that i lose my train of thought and get lost somewhere inbetween the beginning and the end..

times have been complex, and that in itself is a problem.. things should be simple, either/or, make your choice and move on, progress.. push forth, look back only to pick out the good from the bad, reflect? should i even bother? looking back into the past always has its way of making things shady, momentarily clouding better judgment of what seems to be the right thing to do.. your state of mind shifts cause you to do things that you would have done in the past, after awhile you snap back to the present.. by then its too late, things cannot be undone..

There is no backspace, delete/empty recyle bin in the real world..

tell me what to do, give me direction. give me time. understand my situation.

i could be your pain.. its ironic how things turned, we swaped places..

id give up.. the smarter more carefree more self centerd me would have let go... but no.. i choose to stay, im just wating for vengence to come and slap me around abit drag me out of my seat and say hello to the world from a different perspective..

i hope that dosent happen anytime soon..

lights will guide you home,
and ignite your bones,

will you try to fix me

left a mark at 5:23 PM

Sunday, March 19, 2006

sometimes i fucking wonder why i even bother..

ive been waiting for the show..

ive been hearing the hype.. but no show..

=)

left a mark at 4:34 PM

8 hours worth of lan games.. il stay away from the lan shops for awhile.. just got back home, tired but not sleepy..

was fun hanging out today, talk cock, play game, relax.. chill.. if only i didnt have so much to think about..

i think too much..

then again its nessacary..

why complain..

things change.. id rather be in the centre of it all..

left a mark at 4:27 PM

Friday, March 17, 2006

Theres a light in your eyes.. that i used to see..

left a mark at 11:56 AM